hatesthefood | (no subject)

I'm beginning to lose track of time here. That's a dangerous thing. Maybe it's because I can't keep myself as grounded now. I feel restless all the time. Even when I was in prison, I never felt like this. This trapped. There was reason for that, but there isn't for this. Being with Aya in England helped me to balance things. Being with Mamoru here did the same thing, even if things were strained sometimes. It still kept me from slipping like I had before.

The nightmares stopped for a while, thankfully, but now, I have them every other night or so, and I'm starting to worry that they'll end up affecting me. I still can't remember how I died, but in my dreams... so much pain... and flesh being torn away, but when I wake up reaching for them, there's no one to kill.

I'm afraid of the madness. What if it happens again? There's no one here to stop me again... -door chime ringing, then a click-

Ken waved to the customer leaving the store, calling out a parting farewell before he glances around the store again. While it was quiet thanks to him telling Umi to take a few days off, he almost missed the cheery chatter she provided. While he wasn't exactly alone, thanks to the attentive dog almost always at his side these days, he always seemed to hold himself seperate from others. Still, he always had a smile for those he spoke to or passed by, and only those that truly knew him well know those smiles were a little hollow.

Seeing no one else in the store, he padded back towards the scarred up table in the workroom he used to do arrangements, eager to find something to do to keep his hands busy.

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Weiss..?

[Even though she remembered more about Weiss now, she was a little surprised that Ken would hug her. Didn't she do all the hugging before?]

...Anthony said he wasn't going to come back. Not because he didn't want to... He just knew... that jerk!

[She closed her eyes, forcing the tears to stop. She had thought the tears would have been gone by now, but...]

And... Ichiru... Ichiru was already... he was already dead when he came here! That's... just...

I didn't get to say goodbye...

People rarely get the chance to say goodbye, even back home.

[Maybe she was, but this wasn't exactly the same Ken as before. Aya wasn't the only one that time had changed a great deal.]

A gift. He had more time to live here in this city, but nothing lasts forever, as much as we might want it to.

[She never thought of it that way... All she could think about was that Ichiru had died. It was only after Ken mentioned that his time here was a gift that she was able to hug him back. It was kind of strange for her... Ken had changed from what she could remember.]

[A few deep breaths calmed her down... at least enough to make her smile again.]

Thanks, Ken... I needed that. But I think I should leave before I scare your customers away..!

[He was relieved to feel her finally hug him back, and before he pulled away, he leaned down to kiss the top of her head, all big brother like]

I doubt they'd be too scared of a pretty girl. Go on, though. I know you have things to do.

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