hatesthefood | (no subject)

First, there's a flurry of motion, a group locked in a deadly struggle for survival. The battle was brutal, the ground under their feet soon damp with vivid splotches of crimson. One by one, the men fell.

The survivor stood in a pool of blood, three bodies scattered around him; one, a younger man that looked like a much younger Mamoru, bloody and wrapped in razor sharp wire. The second was a lanky redhead, his katana still held in his lifeless hand. The third was a tall blonde wearing broken sunglasses and what looked like an almost wry smile frozen on his pale face.

Ken's face was blank, blood seeping from wounds above his eye and along his cheek but there's almost no recognition of pain. Then, he threw his head back and screamed, his hands flexing gloved fingers so blood soaked that the creak would be audible to anyone standing close to him.

[ooc: The battle near the end of the Weiss OVA. If you've never seen the Ken in action, it's a good peek into just how good he is. Feel free to try and talk to him but I'm not promising he'll be very coherent... or nice. ^^;]

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Mamoru gave him a weary smile, raising an eyebrow. "What did you think?"

"I think you dream in abstracts."

He mirrored the smile back, hunching his shoulders a tiny bit against the cold air.

"The Siberian didn't like you much, did he?"

"Not very much," Mamoru agreed, looking to the side.

Ken walked on in silence for a long while, thinking.

"So what do you think it meant?"

Mamoru snorted quietly.

"I may dream in the abstract, Ken, but I'm not subtle."

He opened his mouth to snark back at the younger man but kept his words to himself. Sighing, he glanced away, feeling the gulf between them widen even more.

Mamoru sighed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He knew Ken understood the dream. Why was he pretending he hadn't?

"The cat was you, Ken."

"I know it was. Don't treat me like I'm stupid just because I'm nothing more than Weiss' muscle."

Mamoru growled in frustration. "I'm not. You asked me what I thought! God, Ken, I know you're smart. Stop telling me that I don't!"

"Maybe because figuring things out is sometimes easier if you talk about it out loud, or at least that's what I've been told. Fuck."

He kicked at a can on the street, sending it clattering away from them.

Mamoru looked over at him, his eyes dark.

"What is it you want to figure out then, Ken?"

"I guess I wanted to figure out where I stood with you, after everything."

Mamoru looked up to him, his eyes dark.

"Weiss -- you -- will always be the best thing in my life."

Ken paused, looking down at him. His hand twitched with the urge to reach up and smooth some of the hair from Mamoru's forehead but he didn't dare. It wasn't his place anymore.

"I feel the same way."

Mamoru nodded shortly,turning away.

Ken watched him for a long moment, his gaze sad before he started walking again.

Mamoru sighed, catching up to him with a few unhurried strides.

"You know, I can't make you happy if I don't know what you want."

"It isn't your job to make me happy, Mamoru. I just... "

He sighed again, glad his hands were shoved in his pockets so they wouldn't be fidgiting.

"It isn't important."

"Clearly, it is, or you wouldn't be acting this way," Mamoru said. He wasn't fooled by the way Ken hid his fingers in his pockets. He hugged himself tighter to stay still.

"Acting like what? Hell, what do you want from me? I lost not only someone I loved but my best friend when you left!"

He was facing the other man now, face the most open it'd been since Mamoru had left.

Mamoru closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Did you? Or did you lose him when Omi left? Be honest, Ken."

"If I didn't care about Mamoru Takatori, then I wouldn't have cried the night he left. I'd still be sleeping at night."

Shaking his head, he stepped back, then turned to walk away.

That was unfair. Mamoru closed his eyes, forcing down tears of his own.

"Nothing I do is going to make you happy. Even now."

"No one makes me happy anymore, Mamoru. No one. Not now."

His voice was soft, leaving him sounding like a lost child.

"...you say Omi's dead and he might very well be, but there are times I still see a shadow of him in your eyes. I just don't think you even know it's there."

He took a few steps, then paused.

"... I'm sorry. I really am sorry I wasn't enough for you anymore because I loved you no matter who you are. You're still the person I trust most in life. I'd die for you."

Mamoru sighed, tightening his arms around himself.

"You were enough for me. The only one who thinks you weren't is you."

He let Ken go, not moving to call him back. But he did add, "I wish I could bring him back, but I can't afford to. Emotionally. I need the distance."