Ken Hidaka (
hatesthefood) wrote2010-05-20 09:21 am
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I'm beginning to lose track of time here. That's a dangerous thing. Maybe it's because I can't keep myself as grounded now. I feel restless all the time. Even when I was in prison, I never felt like this. This trapped. There was reason for that, but there isn't for this. Being with Aya in England helped me to balance things. Being with Mamoru here did the same thing, even if things were strained sometimes. It still kept me from slipping like I had before.
The nightmares stopped for a while, thankfully, but now, I have them every other night or so, and I'm starting to worry that they'll end up affecting me. I still can't remember how I died, but in my dreams... so much pain... and flesh being torn away, but when I wake up reaching for them, there's no one to kill.
I'm afraid of the madness. What if it happens again? There's no one here to stop me again... -door chime ringing, then a click-
Ken waved to the customer leaving the store, calling out a parting farewell before he glances around the store again. While it was quiet thanks to him telling Umi to take a few days off, he almost missed the cheery chatter she provided. While he wasn't exactly alone, thanks to the attentive dog almost always at his side these days, he always seemed to hold himself seperate from others. Still, he always had a smile for those he spoke to or passed by, and only those that truly knew him well know those smiles were a little hollow.
Seeing no one else in the store, he padded back towards the scarred up table in the workroom he used to do arrangements, eager to find something to do to keep his hands busy.
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[She laughed as Badit scurried away... it felt good to laugh. It's been a rough two days...]
[She stood up, dusting her skirt as she continued.]
I didn't give Bandit your share, just so you know. It may have been the best one in the batch though..?
[She joined Ken by the counter, eagerly looking at the flowers he prepared for her.]
They're beautiful... how much? And before you answer, don't tell me I don't need to pay!
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Three yellows'll work.
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[She went through her wallet and found three yellows as he asked. Not really remembering how much the currency is at this City made her unsure if that was really enough, but she handed it to him anyway]
Good... now I don't have to say "you're as bad as Aya".
Seriously though, how are you? Have you been feeling alright?
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He's softened up some. You wouldn't know what to make of him now.
... yeah. Keeping busy, thanks to Special Assault taking up so much of my time. You?
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[She leaned over to smell the roses. Ichiru would have loved them... Anthony, on the other hand, would have preferred cookies, that's for sure, but that annoying brother of hers wasn't dead; no offerings for him!]
...a lot less upset about the whole thing. I don't think I'll ever get used to goodbyes.
[It was a completely honest answer. It made her lose her smile for a moment, but she did her best to shrug it off.]
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They're never easy.
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[She sighed, muttering under her breath:]
Goodbyes are the worst when I know I won't see them again.
[She shook her head, trying to make the tears go away. She managed a weak smile before preparing to leave.]
I have no idea what's wrong with me today, sorry! I don't mean to be depressing...
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[He wasn't content to just stand and watch anymore. Before she could say anything else, he leaned in to hug her, careful not to dirty her dress]
It's alright, Uta. You've had a rough few days, haven't you?
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[Even though she remembered more about Weiss now, she was a little surprised that Ken would hug her. Didn't she do all the hugging before?]
...Anthony said he wasn't going to come back. Not because he didn't want to... He just knew... that jerk!
[She closed her eyes, forcing the tears to stop. She had thought the tears would have been gone by now, but...]
And... Ichiru... Ichiru was already... he was already dead when he came here! That's... just...
I didn't get to say goodbye...
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[Maybe she was, but this wasn't exactly the same Ken as before. Aya wasn't the only one that time had changed a great deal.]
A gift. He had more time to live here in this city, but nothing lasts forever, as much as we might want it to.
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[A few deep breaths calmed her down... at least enough to make her smile again.]
Thanks, Ken... I needed that. But I think I should leave before I scare your customers away..!
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I doubt they'd be too scared of a pretty girl. Go on, though. I know you have things to do.